Friday, August 15, 2014


1) OVERDOSE DEATH    38 year old Lisa N entered Gratitude Training on June 1, 2018... the same date that my adopted twin (age 19) and I started. On day one Lisa was in visible withdrawal (strung out). After personal discussions with her, she explained to me her trouble in staying clean from heroin. Per GT's own rules (below), Lisa was not appropriate for the trainings. She died within 7 months after finishing GT. She did not get the appropriate help. She died of a heroin overdose. Multiple memorial services were held for Lisa. GT ownership / top management failed to show for any of these.

LISA's mom wrote...

Note:  No GT ownership or senior management attended the memorial service

GT's OWN STATEMENT ON ADDICTION (below): "GT is not designed to help you with problems such as alcoholism or chemical dependency. GT is not recommended for any individual in recovery with less than one year of continuous sobriety."

2) HEROIN RELAPSE    Additionally, I was pressured to pay for the tuition (part 3 of 3) of a young man named Jordan Torland. Jordan had confessed that he had had a relapse earlier in the training (opiates via needle injection). I personally called GT owner Jo Englesson and expressed to her the extreme danger of coercing someone to remain in the program fresh off a relapse. I TOLD JO ENGLESSON THAT SHE WAS EXPOSING HERSELF TO EXTREME LIABILITY IF A KNOWN DRUG USER DIED WITHIN GT OR AS A RESULT OF THE EFFECTS of GT. Nevertheless, the very next day I was once again pressured by GT staff to pay for the Part 3 tuition (plus plane ticket from Texas) of Jordan Torland. I personally had to intervene and tell Jordan that he needed to care for himself and for his twin toddlers (pics below). GT was NOT the place to be. I was able to reach him. 

3)  ANOTHER HEROIN RELAPSE    A "fellow student" of mine in GT was a transgendered student named Jules McCarty (pictured below... transitioning from male to female). I became close with Jules as I felt compassion for all that Jules went through as a young transgendered youth. 

Jules told me that she (Jules) was getting pressure from a GT staff member (Emily Rolnick) to recruit transgendered people into GT. GT was very eager to sign up transgendered individuals. In fact, Jules did not have to pay for part one of GT. Jules told me the "tab" was picked up by Bonnie Lazarus and/or Francine Rahe. 

Things did not go well for Jules in GT. Jules represented yet another "at risk" student who was not a proper fit for the program.  Jules had a heroin relapse while in GT and sought treatment while the GT program was in session. Once again GT broke its own rule of "one year sobriety" and took in Jules fresh out of rehab. 

4) A VERY DANGEROUS PLACE    One young female posted openly on a GT FB page regarding her outrage at how careless and negligent the GT community was towards the recovering addict. She went as far as to say relapses were encouraged and that staff had been continuously sleeping with students. 

Liz Haber, an upper management leader in GT, suggested openly that recovery meetings may be offered as a result of this complaint. Of course, this too would be dangerous given that no staff member of GT was licensed run drug recovery or mental health meetings. And how trustworthy would a dangerous cult be in covering up their own messes (relapses)? I have no knowledge whether these support meetings happened or not. 

Here is her message posted publicly on 10/19/17:

“I feel inclined to speak on this. I am angry and saddened. I will not enroll anyone into the trainings anymore. I haven't enrolled anyone in quite sometime because gratitude training is, in my personal experience, not a safe or supportive space for people in recovery. 

Despite what all of you try to say, based on the shit I see, it's a space for it to be ok for people relapse.

And beyond ok, it's almost encouraged.

I get we are all responsible for our own recovery. I am responsible for mine. I own my shit. However, we can not do this alone, and all communities thrive off love, encouragement and support right?

So how can someone be in leadership as a coach to someone in recovery... all the while getting wasted with current students in Part 2, or smoking weed or drinking Kratom, or getting drunk in the same space?

And let me be clear, I don't care what people do, smoke drink, do whatever you want. I see the problem as people within GT as promoting that shit. There is lack of understanding of the severity of addiction and a lack of respect for addiction and recovery, lack of concern, lack of compassion, and lack of education.

An addict or alcoholics greatest obsession is to wish they could drink or use like the rest of you normal people. You guys choose ignorance with this shit. Not all of you, but most of you. Addicts don't think "hey, I wanna stick a needle in my arm and die today" it's fucking cunning. It shows up like "I wish I could drink like everyone else" and then is spirals. the community stays ignorant or has no opinion on the subject right?

And when someone dies, then what? Everyone wants to claim they didn't know? You guys don't wanna know. You have staff with no jobs, no car, lives that are in fucking shambles - and they are coaching people into what's possible???? Huh?????? As what they came manifest in their lives ??????  How the hell does that work?

Staff shows up in business professional suits talking about a "ten" life... and they go home to a life that is crumbling, where they owe people money, where they cheat on their significant other, and where they are out of integrity literally everywhere. These are staff who they just fucked someone from their small group and they are sleeping on someone's couch? Staffing??? Coaching??? Again and again??? Get the fuck out of here man.

One could even say it's predatory. I'm pissed. And if you're pissed at reading this, then good. My experience of the community is a gigantic "FUCK YOU" to the addicts in recovery so I am not open to feedback which is one of your "zombie-like" canned lines because people have lost the ability to think for themselves.

This experience is mine. I've witnessed this happen time and time and time and time again and it seems to only be getting worse. The problem is, people do a few journeys at gratitude training and think they know every God damn thing. I'm over the jargon and inauthentic bullshit. People are fucking dying out here. Drug and alcohol abuse is all over the community. Stop pretending that you don't know what is happening. It's too fucking easy to just shove your head up your own asses.”

5) SUICIDE    Ian Mautner, referred to in the article below, had been part of Gratitude Training.

6) LINK TO OPIATE-LIKE SUBSTANCES     The addictive and opiate-like substance called "kratom" is tied to GT in the following ways (kratom is referred to in News article above). There is a long history between GT and the stores that sell kratom ("KavaSutra" stores).

- The owner (Dylan Harrison) of the south Florida KavaSutra stores(sellers of kratom) took part in GT.
- Dylan Harrison (owner) had previously spent time in federal prison for selling highly dangerous synthetic marijuana. In fact his entire warehouse blew up in West Palm Beach. 
- Jo Englesson has hired Dylan Harrison's attorney to represent her (Mike Antorini).
- This attorney had an ownership interest in a KavaSutra store in Colorado (I called the store myself and asked who the owner was). 
- The General Manager of the south Florida KavaSutra stores is a trainer within GT.
- GT has held events (such as fund raising) in KavaSutra stores.
- Many KavaSutra employees (who sell the dangerous substance "kratom") have taken GT. I estimate well over twenty.

6) Psychotic Breakdown    A young female experienced a psychotic break in my GT Part 2 under Trainer Francine Rahe. I noticed that she was being pushed way too hard in a given exercise. She (her name was Lisa... not the Lisa that passed away) was pushed to the point to where... the best way to describe it is... it looked like she had undergone a demonic possession. She was shaking uncontrollably and her voice became very deep. With a chilling demonic-like voice she addressed the Part 2 Trainer Francine Rahe by exclaiming, "YOU ARE NOT SOURCE. I AM SOUCE!" ("Source" has meaning within GT which I won't try to explain here). This young woman then ran out of the room and down a public hallway at the Pompano Citi Center. The staff (most of whom are unpaid... and who therefore meet the literal definition of being labor trafficked. Brainwashing is a form of force, coercion, and fraud)… chased her and I was told had to tackle her. 911 was called. She spent 5 days in a psych hospital. Three points:
A) Absolutely no one within GT had ANY training to manage this situation. I cannot tell you how dangerous this cult is. In one exercise, they push you so hard... they tell you to raise your hand if you need a vomit bag. 
B) No one should be so sleep deprived and pushed so hard that they enter an altered stake. I cannot tell you how scared I was for this girl and how embarrassed I was for her when she re-entered her normal state of consciousness... at which point she realized that she had a mental break in front of 77 students and staff and was transported away in an ambulance.
C) GT did not care about this person in the least. Her name was never brought up again. She was bad for their "brand" and was therefore ignored.
D) An ancillary issue here is the needless stress put on police, EMS etc. Events like the one described here are predictable and dangerous and place unnecessary burdens on rescue personnel. 

Triggers for relapse and mental health breaches are littered everywhere within GT. Part 3 is an 80-day cult initiation phase effectuating further breakdowns of student defenses. Tried and true "mind manipulation" exercises entrap participants further into a brainwashed state. Before one realizes it, one's entire community of friends are GT adherents. They consume so much of student time that old friends and even family members drift away. This program is a "marriage killer" and a "family splitter." I have had many people contact me with these exact issues. Think of it like Scientology. You are either in or you are out. 
I allege no direct premeditation on the part of GT for anyone that may have lost their life or had a breakdown etc. I have never called them "murderers." Yet there is a part of the statute for second degree murder that would, in my opinion, apply to GT. The statute describes circumstances "perpetrated by any act imminently dangerous to another and evincing a depraved mind regardless of human life." As a result I did ask law enforcement to have a look at Florida Statute 782.04(2)-(3) as it relates to GT and affiliates so they can assess for themselves that which takes place in GT. 

It is my opinion that GT values money more than it does human life. I perceive them as being callously inured with indifference and apathy. Horrible outcomes are heartlessly treated as a "business matters" to be distanced from. Some fellow students and I had a name for these people left behind. We called them "GT road kill." And we were not laughing.

T is ever so willing to pin blame on students for having "authored" their circumstances. "Authoring" is a GT term that exists as an unsubstantiated and unconfirmable "strain" of the highly ambiguous and debatable "law of attraction." This ideology allows GT (at least in their own minds) to abdicate responsibility for the health and well being of their students. The students are fully accountable. Any negative experience "is on them." 

GT also adheres to the notion that everything is "neutral." EVERYTHING. Not surprisingly, a common complaint from to students to staff is that "they are robotic." The result is impenitence and an emotional status that is unmoved and insensate.

MORE on the deadly substance called "kratom"...

See HERE for article on inpatient treatment.

Here is an article about a NY State Trooper that died from a "kratom" OD. See HERE

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